During talks with single persons or with a team of people, the self-esteem of a communication partner may be hurt and declined, for example if he is criticized directly or indirectly. Indirectly means that something during the talk is understood as a critic even if it is not meant in that way.

If the self-esteem of a person goes down you should react directly, otherwise it will have very negative consequences for the whole talk. You should try to increase the self-esteem. This can be done by an honest appreciation. Do not try to say some patch phrases because they are usually unmasked quickly and will make the situation even worse.

But how can you see whether the self-esteem of a person is decreasing? There are four behaviors which can be seen in such situations. They me occur separately or simultaneously.

• Attack, accuse
• Withdrawal, appease
• Talk a lot, jabbering
• Turn away, distract, gloss over

If you recognize one or more of the above behaviors you should act as described and try to increase the self-esteem of the affected person.